Workplace Violence

Suzanne Perry, Domestic violence victim advocate.
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The most common types of violence are youth (gang) and domestic violence. However, there are several other types of violence as well that should never be tolerated. One example of this is workplace violence. In a pamphlet distributed by the state of Hawaii, the Hawaii Workplace Violence Working Group Committee, it reported that more than 2800 people in the United States filed claims to worker’s compensation funds as a result of workplace violence over the past five years. In addition, more than two million people per year are victims of assault, including rape and even murder, every year. These attacks lose businesses $35 million per year in reparations and other methods of coping with workplace violence. It is more common than one might think, and many people may be afraid to come forward with their claims. Some are physically assaulted by individuals who are their superiors in the company, or fear that they may lose their job if they report the incident. However, most companies are designed to protect each and every employee, and anyone who is a victim of workplace violence should report the incident immediately to their human relations department in order to prevent further violence from taking place against them or others.

Workplace violence is a common problem, and one that continues to grow as more people spend extended periods of time with their coworkers. Those who could be victims must take precautions to avoid dangerous situations, such as walking alone at night or spending time singly with coworkers outside of work. Preventing violence must first be done by making smart decisions to protect each person, and doing so will hopefully decrease the number of victims of workplace violence. Programs are often designed to protect employees, such as having a friend to walk out of work with on dark nights, and these programs should not be taken lightly in order for each person to remain safe.

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On Watch: Spotting Signs of Abuse

Domestic 2009 Look Book
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Perhaps you have a friend in need but don’t even know it!  Domestic violence is more common that you think.  Know the signs:
• Is your friend or family member around anymore?  Perhaps she was around all the time; however, now you see her maybe once or twice a month since she has been seeing her new boyfriend.  While the throes of passion may be at work, it could also been unhealthy.  When you see your friend, does she seem to be elated or controlled?  Make sure to speak with her about this new friend and monitor how she refers to him and especially his moods.
• Is your friend or family member trying to hide something?   Does she often wear inappropriate clothing, such as sunglasses indoors or sweaters in the summertime?  She may be trying to cover up bruises or gashes caused by domestic violence.  Do not confront about this issue directly however.  Try to take a gentler approach by asking about the garment itself.  For example, if she is wearing a scarf in the summer time, ask “Aren’t you hot with that scarf on?”  Sometimes, the victim is looking for any sort of opening in order to talk about the abuse.
• Is your friend or family member at a loss for words?  As a result of their fear of confrontation, abuse victims are often unable to communicate as well or express emotion naturally.  If these people are often even the simplest choice, such as eating indoors or outdoors, they will freeze up.  After all, the abuse victim has been made to believe that the wrong choice will end in severe pain.  Be gentle with this person and make gestures and actions that will imply that she will not suffer any consequences by her choices.  Practice patience with these reactions as well, as the victim’s hesitance will continue for quite some time.
If there is abuse, be sure to get your friend professional help fast.  With these signs, she may be on the road to recovery sooner than later, and she will have you to thank.
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How Do I Know If Something is Abuse?

Supporters of domestic violence victims look a...
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Everyone needs to be educated on what constitutes abuse as well as the effects of abuse.  Many actions that seem harmless are actually considered criminal. If they happen between people in a relationship, they are domestic abuse—even if they aren’t at home when they happen.
It may surprise people to realize they have legally kidnapped someone if they keep them from leaving the room during an argument. Destruction or vandalism of property without permission is a crime, even among family members. Feel like egging someone’s house tonight? Better watch it—that is criminal mischief.
If an “ex” uses their key to go in someone’s house and wait to confront them, it is burglary even if you don’t take anything. If they wait around for them against their will, even outdoors or in a public place, it is stalking.
Whether actual injury occurs is not the issue. The issue is the threat of injury. An object thrown at someone is violence, whether the item hits the targeted person or not. A threat to kill someone if they leave is violence. A threat to kill yourself if they leave you is violence.
Domestic violence is any pattern of behavior that is used to control someone in a close relationship through fear, threats, or injury.
Although the police are concerned with the criminal aspect of violence, there are other forms of domestic abuse. They may not lead to arrest, but there are advocates in the community who can help victims. These include emotional abuse such as constant criticism and belittling. The spouse who insists on complete control of the finances is emotionally abusive. Other forms of abuse include isolating the victim from family and friends, destroying their relationships, and yelling.
If you, or someone you know, are going through any of these in any relationship, please call a victims’ advocate to find out what to do. Bruises, black eyes, and broken bones are not the only symptoms of abuse. Emotional abuse has long-term negative effects, but there is help available. Please call. Reach out and get help.
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Early Warning Signs of a Potentially Abusive Partner

Of course, hindsight is always 20-20. Many women, particularly young women or those with a low self-esteem, find themselves infatuated with men who are charming and who promise them the world.  But abusers don’t usually reveal their true selves immediately, making it difficult for the woman to see him for who he truly is.
Experts say a few tell-tale red flags should serve as warning signs.  Probably the number one trait almost all abusers share is possessiveness, or jealousy.  This, of course, can be jealousy toward other men.  But it also comes in the form of jealousy toward the woman’s friends, family, and even her hobbies or her time.  This stems from his own insecurity.
Also, if he always has to be right, tries to be intimidating or scary, speaks angrily about a past girlfriend or wife, or has generally disrespectful ideas toward women—these are also red flags that the man is an abuser.
So many people are under the misconception that “abuse” equals “bruises.”  In reality, it is a series of tactics and actions used to control a partner, and physical violence is only one part of that cycle. Often, it is one of the last signs of abuse to appear, and in many cases the other forms of abuse can appear much worse than the actual physical violence.
The abuser uses emotional abuse to gradually tear down the victim’s self-esteem.  He uses financial abuse to control the money and create a sense of dependence on him.   He uses isolation to keep the victim from hearing and believing positive things about herself.  He believes he is “entitled” to sexual favors whenever and wherever he pleases.
Experts also say abusers are generally not born that way;  it is a learned culture that is deeply engrained. It is possible for abusers to change through classes and counseling, but even then, it is rare.
One of the most important factors in preventing domestic violence is teaching girls and women the warning signs of potential abusers.
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Emotional Abuse: One Tool in an Abuser’s Toolbox

"North Hampton is a Domestic violence fre...
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The question has been asked a million times:  ”If it was so bad, then why didn’t she just leave?”
When talking about domestic violence, people who aren’t familiar with it think it’s a case of the old saying,”Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
In reality, emotional abuse can be far more devastating in some ways than physical abuse.  Emotional abuse is the systematic tearing down of another human being through verbal and emotional means in order to gain power or control over the victim. Abusers often use emotional abuse alongside other forms, like physical violence.
It is dangerous for three main reasons. One is because it involves a slow, regular stream of name-calling, belittling, and humiliation that eventually results in brainwashing.  Even the strongest, most confident of women can fall prey to severe emotional abuse.  That’s because it can occur as slow as erosion, and has the same corrosive effect that a continual drop of water can have on a solid rock.
The second reason is because emotional abuse is often hard for the victim to recognize or identify. In most abusive relationships, the victim has been told so many times that she is the one who is the problem, she eventually comes to believe she is the failure in the relationship.  She keeps trying harder to fix the relationship, all the while not realizing she’s allowing her mind to be controlled by a manipulative abuser.
Lastly, emotional abuse is dangerous because its effects are so long-lasting. Often, it is the scars that are invisible which are the hardest to heal.    If a victim does not receive counseling for the scars from an emotionally abusive relationship, she is likely to carry the same low-self esteem she had in the abusive relationship, and end up with yet another abuser.
Society has long taught its citizens to recognize abusive behavior as that which leaves a black eye or a scar.  But emotional abuse is used to incredible effect on almost all victims of domestic violence.  It’s time Americans recognized it as the danger it is.
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